Final diagnosis

Okay, some of you may know my history...others may not. I became pregnant for the 9th time on Feb. of 2012. ( I know right!!!) The pregnancy seemed normal at first and then i was told the pregnancy had attached to my C section scar.  At 9 weeks pregnant I was told the pregnancy had grown through my c section scar and was now outside of the uterus between my bladder and uterus. I was told that Termination was my only option or I could die. Apparently I had Pracreta. ( SP?) 

Anyway, I was sent to the high risk maternal fetal medicine dr. where he terminated my pregnancy. ( this was devastating. I had made it beyond the 5 weeks that I normally had before miscarrying. The pregnancy had a strong heartbeat too.) To further the complications, the pregnancy never dissolved. So, on Memorial Day of 2012 I began to hemorrhage and had to be operated on - through my c section scar. There were 3 doctors preforming my surgery: an oncologist, high risk maternal fetal medicine Dr. and the fertility Dr. The Dr's went in and removed the tissue that was left in my body. I was told that, likely,  I should never use my uterus again. In fact, they called Eric during the surgery and asked if they could remove my uterus - not a decision Eric was willing to make.

Fast forward 1 year.  I had a water ultrasound conducted  Monday to determine what damage had been done and if there was enough tissue left between my c section scar and uterus for me to carry a pregnancy. Well, BAD news! There is not. I have only about 3 mm or less of tissue in that area of my uterus. That would not enable my uterus to stretch without rupturing and potentially killing myself or the child I was carrying. I am not willing to risk that - I have a daughter who needs me. I try to remind myself of that often.

So, here I sit with a uterus that I cannot use. I am thankful for the child I have and did not plan on. I am so lucky to be her mommy and to be able to call her mine. :)

Still...... I would LOVE another child. I would love to find a surrogate. Unfortunately, that is far more expensive than I will ever be able to afford. I would love to adopt an infant in the US.  That will likely never happen either as infant adoptions within the US are not common.

Guest blogger!!!

I am shocked and happy to announce that I have a guest blogger. Her name is Katie.  She contacted me and because I am very familiar with Doulas ( my best friend is a midwife) I thought I would share her post.  You can connect with Katie contact her via her blog, Moore From Katie or her twitter, @moorekm26.” 

Postpartum Doulas Give New Moms Welcome Support

As any new mom knows, navigating the days following childbirth can present quite a challenge for her and her family. Bringing a new baby home means changing the family routines, balancing time and juggling responsibilities. These changes can take a toll on even the most experienced parent.

The transition home is especially hard after a cesarean delivery or complications. Most new moms need extra support during their first weeks back, but help may not be easy to find. If friends or family members cannot provide assistance, a postpartum doula is good alternative.

What is a Doula?

“Doula” is an ancient Greek word that means “a woman who serves.” Postpartum doulas assist women who are bringing a new baby home for the first time after childbirth or adoption. Doulas provide personal, nurturing support during the days and months following birth. Doulas can be used before, during and after delivery to help a mother transition through this big change in her life.

What are the Duties of a Doula?

If a mother decides to hire a doula before delivery, the benefits will be the education and emotional support she will receive from the doula. A doula can answer questions about labor signs, delivery expectations and options for post-delivery options like circumcision and umbilical cord blood banking.

A postpartum doula tends to a new mother’s unique needs, whether she is an experienced parent or a first-time mom. The doula’s duties include companionship, newborn care, breastfeeding support, sibling care, light housekeeping, errand-running and referrals. Pediatricians, parenting classes and lactation support are popular referral resources.

Many postpartum doulas provide services beyond the first few days after birth. They may work for a few hours a day or a few days a week. Some continue their support during the baby’s first year of life. One doula’s services may be different than another’s, so new moms must identify and define their needs to find a doula who can best meet them.

While a postpartum doula may offer newborn care, she is different from a baby nurse. Baby nurses focus solely on the new babies in their care, while doulas proved support for the new mom and her household. The concept of a doula is nothing new, but it has grown in popularity during recent years.

Where Can a New Mom Find a Doula?

Most postpartum doulas hold certifications from organizations like the Childbirth and Postpartum Professional Association (CAPPA) and Doulas of North America (DONA) International. All doulas have training in infant care, child development, CPR and first aid.

The American Pregnancy Association can provide new moms with a doula list by ZIP code search. Childbirth educators, parenting support groups, birthing doulas and midwives will also refer new moms to postpartum doulas. Postpartum doulas charge for their services, typically by the hour.

“Katie Moore has written and submitted this article. Katie is an active blogger who discusses the topics of, motherhood, children, fitness, health and all other things Mommy. She enjoys writing, blogging, and meeting new people! To connect with Katie contact her via her blog, Moore From Katie or her twitter, @moorekm26.”

Half an organ lighter......

Well, I had surgery last Tuesday.  It lasted for 3 hours and I had a Fertility Dr, Maternal-Fetal Medicine Dr, and female Oncologist in the operating room. The Dr's called Eric mid way through the surgery and asked him if they could remove my uterus.  That obviously put Eric in a tough position so he didn't know how to respond.  He asked them why and the Dr. only said that they didn't want me to conceive ever again - no real medical issues.  Eric didn't feel like he could make that decision based upon that brief bit of information. So, I woke up with a half a uterus that I cannot use ever again. 

The Drs removed a tennis ball mass that was attached to my uterus. They say it was a combination of embryonic sack and blood clot. This makes the mass bigger than the actual uterus. The Drs pulled what was left of my uterus and sewed it up.  I have an incision on my c-section scar that is nearly the length.  I would guess 4-5 inches long. Boy or boy does it hurt worse than the c-section .  I guess because I don't have the new mom endorphins running through my body.

The Dr. told me that I have great ovaries and that I would be a great candidate for IVF with a surrogate.  That sounds perfect in a perfect world. It is abot $50-$60 thousand dollars for a surrogate.  If I can find a family member or someone like that to carry our baby I would only have to pay for the IVF procedure itself.

Looks like Taylor will be a single child. Not many family members knocking on my door to carry my child.:)

Anyway - short and sweet update.  More to come when I am more energetic.

Having Surgery

WOW! What a crazy week it has been. On Memorial Day Eric and I went to go ride dirt bikes. When we finished I noticed that I was bleeding. It looked heavier than normal, but I thought it was my imagination. I asked Eric to take me to Albertsons so that I could get some female items.  After I checked out I went to the restroom. I sat on the toilet and a gush of straight blood came out of me and 2 HUGE plops.  I looked in the toilet and of course was freaked out!  I was not sure where the clots would have come from - or why I would be hemoraging so badly.  I could not even put a tampon in because of the amount of blood.  I just stuffed my underwear with toilet paper and ran to the truck and told Eric that we needed to go to the ER. 

I called Maternal fetal medicine to let them know where I was headed. Of course my dr. was out of town and the on call Dr. didn't want to touch me because of what a rare case I am.

When I got to the ER I was given an ultrasound, vaginal check, and even a blood draw.  They found nothing.. BIG SURPRISE! The blood test revealed that my blood count had not gone down that far and that there was no reason to keep me at the hospital. (what a waste of 4 hours)

I was told to call the dr. the following day to schedule a follow up appointment. I was told that my dr. would not be back in town until Friday so I had to wait. I was still bleeding heavily at this point too. I went to my work office on Wednesday afternoon, with Taylor in tow. I began to feel light headed from all of the bleeding.  When I called the Dr. office I was told to go back to the ER.  I refused because they could not tell me anything. Instead, I asked if they could just draw my blood and see if I was at a point of needing a transfusion. The results showed that I had lost 1.5 units of blood.  The Dr. office told me that it was a lot of blood, but that I should be okay until Friday.  ARE YOU KIDDING ME! SHOULD BE OKAY!  I couldn't believe that no one wanted to see me at the office. 

So, I went home and took it easy until Friday. When I went to the office I was told that I would need to schedule surgery with the fertility Dr. so that I could attempt to save my uterus.   The hope is that I will be able to have laproscopic surgery to go in and lop off the embryonic sack that is not dissolving. Remember that the sack is outside the uterus?!  The Dr's think that the baby started growing inside the uterus, attached to my c-section scar and then grew through the scar - so part of it is in the uterus.....a sack is very vascular. Think fingers spreading out.  As the fertility dr. and high risk dr. talked I was then informed that likely the surgery would be an open surgery. That means that they will cut me open through my c-section scar and I will have to be in the hospital for 2 days. I am nervous that I will wake up without my uterus.....I am also looking forward to having the bleeding end. (it has been 2 months)

This scheduled surgery was something that was planned all along...just down the road.  So, at least it is not something that is happening because I rode dirt bikes.....

Sorry, it is so short and quick. There are so many details it is hard to consolidate.  Wish me luck tomorrow!

Family photo shoot

Well, we finally had family pictures taken on Sunday. The last time they were taken Taylor was 1.  I would say that is long overdue!!!!!  I have not received any pictures except a text of one.  Take a look.

Almost back to zero....

I had a visit with the high risk Dr to get an ultrasound and blood draw to check my HCG levels.  Back on Easter my levels were at 175,000...they are now at 340. That is great news!  My HCGs are dropping as they should.  The Dr. said that he was happy with the speed at which they have declined.  I was given an ultrasound and it appears the sack is still attached to my abdominal wall and has not changed size much. The Dr. did tell me that it was not appearing so Cyst like and bulbus when he compares it to previous ultrasounds.  The sack will likely be removed when I go to the fertility Dr. to begin the process over again...... When my levels are back to zero the Dr. wants me to go see Dr. Slater, she is a fertility specialist. They have talked about me having a procedure in which they take two cameras. One from my abdomen with a needle and another through my uterus to see if the sack is protruding from the uterus still. If this is the case they will cut it off and put stitches where it was. 

When I am fully healed I will be able to try to conceive again.  But, I will be treated at the high risk office as a patient who has had abdominal muscle issues.  The Dr. yesterday told me that if I was successful at conceiving I would need to deliver at 36 weeks via C-section.  The hopes is that by doing all of this we prevent any further complications. 

Whew.....long story.  I am ready for it to be over.

I go back for a blood draw in 3 weeks and an ultrasound in 6.

....so, it may never go away????

I went to the Dr. again yesterday! The ultrasound tech. tried to put me in the room where everything happened. I clearly stated that I would not be stepping foot into that room. She gladly obliged and we moved. While examining me the tech took measurements of the embryonic sack that is still attached to my abdominal wall....there is no tissue inside though.  She told me that the sack had not shrunk in two weeks. I immediately began to freak out because I don't want to be cut open to remove it. She left the room and paged the Dr. When Dr. Blea came into the room he was smiling as usual. He said that the sack had not shrunk, but that he was not concerned because my last HCG, two weeks earlier, had dropped to 53,000. He further stated that as long as the HCG continues to drop he will not be concerned. I was informed that the sack may never fully go away. It has likely grown into my abdominal muscle. It will probably turn into scar tissue and then, may or may not dissolve....eventually. How weird that I still have part of the pregnancy that I wanted so badly inside of me....and it may never go away????!!!

I was given another blood test and was told that if the levels have dropped like they should I will be called and told that I can just go to the hospital for blood draws until the levels return to 0. In addition if they have dropped appropriately I can be intimate again and will be put on birth control. (Killl me now...I haven't been on BC for 5 years)  At least the BC will be temporary until I can meet with the fertility Dr.....around October and plan the next course of action - if we decide to take that route.