Thursday, May 9, 2013

Final diagnosis

Okay, some of you may know my history...others may not. I became pregnant for the 9th time on Feb. of 2012. ( I know right!!!) The pregnancy seemed normal at first and then i was told the pregnancy had attached to my C section scar.  At 9 weeks pregnant I was told the pregnancy had grown through my c section scar and was now outside of the uterus between my bladder and uterus. I was told that Termination was my only option or I could die. Apparently I had Pracreta. ( SP?) 

Anyway, I was sent to the high risk maternal fetal medicine dr. where he terminated my pregnancy. ( this was devastating. I had made it beyond the 5 weeks that I normally had before miscarrying. The pregnancy had a strong heartbeat too.) To further the complications, the pregnancy never dissolved. So, on Memorial Day of 2012 I began to hemorrhage and had to be operated on - through my c section scar. There were 3 doctors preforming my surgery: an oncologist, high risk maternal fetal medicine Dr. and the fertility Dr. The Dr's went in and removed the tissue that was left in my body. I was told that, likely,  I should never use my uterus again. In fact, they called Eric during the surgery and asked if they could remove my uterus - not a decision Eric was willing to make.

Fast forward 1 year.  I had a water ultrasound conducted  Monday to determine what damage had been done and if there was enough tissue left between my c section scar and uterus for me to carry a pregnancy. Well, BAD news! There is not. I have only about 3 mm or less of tissue in that area of my uterus. That would not enable my uterus to stretch without rupturing and potentially killing myself or the child I was carrying. I am not willing to risk that - I have a daughter who needs me. I try to remind myself of that often.

So, here I sit with a uterus that I cannot use. I am thankful for the child I have and did not plan on. I am so lucky to be her mommy and to be able to call her mine. :)

Still...... I would LOVE another child. I would love to find a surrogate. Unfortunately, that is far more expensive than I will ever be able to afford. I would love to adopt an infant in the US.  That will likely never happen either as infant adoptions within the US are not common.

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