miscarrying......

well, I told you I would share good or bad news.  Well....it is bad. It looks like I am miscarrying.  I went to the bathroom and am seeing red blood in the toilet.  It is devestating....especially when you want it so bad.  I guess the fertility dr.'s diagnosis of thin uterine lining was accurate. Even though I got healthy if I don't have adequate uterine lining to support a pregnancy it will not be viable.

I can't help but think...."I am okay...lots' of women bleed and have successful pregnancies." Then, I remind myself that I am not that case......when I bleed it is bad news!!!

I will continue to post when I know more. I plan to call the Dr. tomorrow. They can't do anything now for me. 

Thought I would share the journey.....

Well, it has been a very long time since my last post. Many things have happened.  I returned from Cancun on March 2.  What an amazing vacation! It was wonderful to reconnect with Eric and just relax. 
We flew first class on the way from Cancun to Boise.  It was not planned or authorized, but the person who checked us in upgraded us and charged my credit card without my permission. I have tried to fight it, but it but the company says I received the service.  At least it wasn't $1000.  Still it stung a little.

Well,  I got back from Cancun and was trying to get back into my normal routine when I realize that I was late for my period. I had been seeing a holistic chiropractor  who had made my last 3 cycles come at day 26.  I don't know what she did, but something changed. On CD 30 I decided to take a pregnancy test because whether or not my periods were on CD 26 or 28 I would officially be late. I ran to the store grabbed the test, did my thing all while expecting the test to come out negative.  Well, it didn't!  It came out positive.....right away!

Let me just say I was shocked! We were not trying. I am not sure if this happened right before our vacation or during?  I have never had a positive pregnancy test like this.  Even when I was pregnant with Taylor. Usually I have to turn my head just so....be in the right light....etc.and still maybe never get a positive result. Not this time!


I know it is early to share, especially with my history of miscarriages. I think I am at 7 now???? Anyway, I tried fertility doctors without success. In fact, I quit getting pregnant when I saw them. I did better on my own. So, I tried something different. I went to a holistic chiropractor 2 times per week for 3 months along with eating a boat load of organic fruits and vegetables. I worked out more, cut out processed foods, alcohol, and sugars.  The chiropractor made my cycle come at 26 days for 3 months. Something she was doing was working. I had an overall healthy feeling and it worked!!!! I am still taking progesterone suppositories twice a day for the first 12 weeks. It is not fun...but worth it if I end up with a healthy baby.  I will continue to share even if things don't work out. I am feeling optimistic this time though! If I can make it to March 30th (7 week appt) then I feel like I will be in the clear. I typically don't make it beyond 6 weeks.

I think it is worth sharing because I had one successful pregnancy on my own and struggled with the second. The holistic chiropractor says it is because I was so unhealthy on the inside. Especially after Taylor....she took all of my nutrients and I never replenished them. I had to try and get healthy from the inside out before I was able to conceive.  The DR. also said that my lower back above my hips is the part of my body linked to reproduction. She focused on relaxing those muscles so that my body would function normally.  ( it worked!)

Wait for it.....The due date is Taylor's birthday!!!  November 15. Crazy huh?

Going to Cancun

I am so excited to finally say this, "We are going to Cancun!"  I am thrilled!  We had decided to take a vacation last summer. Our plans were that if we were pregnant we would take a family vacation. If not....we would take an adult vacation.  So, on February 23 we are off to Cancun until March 2 - just the two of us and a couple we are very close with. This is such a much needed vacation.  Who knows ..maybe we will end up pregnant!  Taylor will be staying with my mom, Eric's mom, My dad, and then Eric's dad throughout the vacation. I didn't want any one person to get burnt out. Crazy that I have that many options for people to help, huh? I don't think we will ever be taking a vacation that does not fall on a break again. The rotation of Taylor is enough to make anyone want to scream. Normally, I wouldn't have to arrange so much, but now that she is in kindergarten I don't want her to miss school or her dance classes.

I am still eating fruits and vegetables (which for those that know me...I NEVER ate them before.)  and going to the holistic chiropractor.  I have such amazing changes; including my monthly visitor coming 2 days earlier for the last 2 months and being much heavier, which is a good thing. (Madeline says this is because of my treatments with her.) When we get back from Mexico we will decide if we are up for additional fertility treatments. I am just hopeful that becoming healthier from the inside out will lead to a viable pregnancy without treatments.

My better half....

I rarely mention Eric or how wonderful he is.  I am not even sure if I have ever posted a picture of him.  I wanted to share this picture because, today, I am making my post about Eric....I feel so grateful to have him in my life. He makes me smile when I am feeling down and knows how to make me feel like everything will be okay.  He spoils the hell out of me and is such a wonderful father to our daughter.  I LOVE you Eric Charles Holloway.

Fabulous Christmas

Well, Christmas is over and it is time to try and get back into a routine! Maybe easier said than done.  I wanted to post a few pictures of our Christmas.

 Three generations: Great Gram Lamm, Gram'e, and Taylor Jo.

Santa left us all a stocking!

 Look at all of those presents!

 Every Christmas Eve we lay in bed and listen to Daddy read, "Twas the Night Before Christmas."

 Taylor got a wheelchair for her American Girl doll....can you tell her mommy is a special education teacher?

 Christmas day we had a blind-folded food contest......Eric and I's food won!

 Twister with Uncle Keith....notice where his face is.

Daddy bought us all dart guns.....it has been very fun!

Holistic Chiropractor

Okay, I just wanted to give an update on my experience, thus far, with the holistic chiropractor.  I feel AMAZE Balls! (Like Guilianna Rancic says)  I have been sleeping better and not waking up or struggling to fall asleep.  I have had regular BM's (which are not usual), and my period started 3 days early and was heavier than it has been in years. All of these things tell me that my body is reacting appropriately to the treatment. The period thing is the most amazing thing of all. I have been tracking my periods for years and cannot tell you the last time I started my period early without being on fertility drugs. In addition, I am MUCH heavier than I have been in a long time. This tells me that my lining was thicker than the previous months.   (YEAHHHH! This is what we wanted to happen without fertility drugs.)

   I am truly in shock! You don't really realize how poorly you were feeling until you actually feel good.  I so  badly wanted to believe that Holistic Chiropractic work could help me feel better or even "fix" me. I was, initially, a skeptic. Now, that I see and feel all of these amazing changes I am a believer in holistic approaches to fertility. I am NOT pregnant yet.... but, who knows!?

Taylor's dance recital

Here is a video clip from Taylor's dance recital. She was so proud of herself.