The neighbors thought she was hurt!

Well. .. here is another of those Taylor stories.  Last night my neighbor and I went on a walk to the park.  I let Taylor take her little bike and ride along with us.  This is where the story starts.  She rode ahead of us because everything is a race!  She rode so far ahead of us I could barely see her.  I asked her to stop. .. I yelled for her to stop!  I yelled again!  She didn't listen.  Now, if you know me. .. I am not a quiet person. It is not like when I yell, she won't hear me.  It was blatant disregard.   So, of course that irritates me more, so I run down the street and get her "attention". I tell her that she needs to quit ignoring me and stay in view or she will get her bike taken away. I say, "let's cross the street quickly and get to the other side so cars don't get us."  What does she do?  She rides her bike down the middle of the street as I say and then begin to yell, " Get out of the street!  Go to the sidewalk!"  Over. .  ..and . .. .over again!  Finally, as I walk up to her and grab the handle bars she goes to the sidewalk.   We begin our trek to the park.  Taylor listens and when we get to the park she plays and listens.  Funny how she suddenly has her hearing back! 

Okay. .. time to leave!  I let Taylor know it is time to go.  My neighbor is putting her baby in the stroller and Taylor takes off down the sidewalk. I say, "stay in view. .don't go to far."  As I begin to walk down the sidewalk Taylor looks back at me and disappears around the corner of the walkway. I again yell, "STOP! You have gone to far, mommy can't see you."  Not upset at this point because I figure she will come back or wait.  NOTHING!  I yell again. .and again. .. she doesn't "hear" me.  I get to where Taylor is and tell her that she has lost her bike because she did not listen.  Now. .. the story gets good!  She screams and yells.  I'm not talking for a second.  I am talking the entire way home.  The neighborhood is looking out their windows and doorways wondering who just beat their kid.  The entire time Taylor is yelling, " I want my bike back . .I will be good." I, of course, dont' give it back because I have to follow through.  I ask her to stop yelling. .. nope. .. again. .. nope.  She gets a swat. .. .nope!  So, I have to just walk ahead of her gritting my teeth.  When I approach my house, the neighbors on the other side of the street run out and ask if Taylor is okay.  They tell me that they could hear her all the way down the street! I am mortified!  I tell them that she is just having a melt down because I took her bike. 


Oh MY GOSH!!  I wanted to leave my kid on the side of the road and run away!

Summer

Summer has begun and Boise is not sunny.  It is so disappointing and causes me stress.  This time last year our pool was up and we played outside most of the time.  Not this year. . .every other day is windy or rainy.  I feel as though I live in Oregon.  Which in itself wouldn't be so bad if I actually lived in Oregon! 

Here is the update on me:  "Technically" not completed with my contract of teaching yet, but am not working because my Type A work personality leaves me  without work.  It is all done. (Funny how I am type A with work, but would never be considered that in my personal life.)  I am not on my computer as often as I was during the school year. Which is the primary reason that I haven't updated this blog in a lifetime.  That, and the fact that I have nothing going on. I did get offered a teaching contract with IDVA again. Thank goodness!  So many of my colleagues did not get offered teaching contracts again. I guess the special education endorsement is my saving grace. 


I have started my masters program and am struggling to read all of the pages. I can't believe I actually ever made it through college.  I often finish reading and ask myself, "what the hell did I just read?"  LOL!  On the 21st I begin my actual class time.  It lasts 4 days from 8am to 8pm with 2, one hour breaks to eat.  Doesn't that sound daunting?  Wish me luck.  Hopefully, this remembering how to study thing will come back.

OK. . .maybe later!

Call me blond. .. slow.  . .whatever. .. but, I can't figure out how to "go private" and still allow my friends to read.  LOL!  So.. .maybe I stay public.  :) 

Going private

I have decided to make my blog private. I have just read another post of someone getting identity theft from their blog.  How sad!  I am not really sure how that happens, but it is horrible.  I am giving it a week and then. .. we shall see.  Please make sure that I have your email address so that I can add it to my list of contacts who can access the blog.

Taylor's end of year music recital.

I love this little girl.  Taylor had her end of year music recital for preschool.  Oh how cute she is!  She sang her little hear out.

Plan B

So, after the last Beta blood draw I was feeling very down.  A very dear friend, Melissa Stafford, who many of you know, (either from highschool or the "blogging world") sent me a wonderful book called,Plan B, by Pete Wilson.   It is an amazing and inspirational book. It has given me a lot of useful information. Many of the things I read are things that I really know deep down, but sometimes you need someone to say it.One quote from the book that really got me thinking reads;

"I know that persevering isn't easy.  I know you want to run .  I know you want to give up. I know you want to try and control and maintain what you cannot control or maintain.  Resist the urge.  Try to lean on God instead of panicking. Try to trust him instead of running away.  Despite what your current circumstances are telling you. God is for you. He is there. He is working things our for your good."

Reading that was one of those "ahhh haa" moments.  I know what I need to do. So, I am going to try and not control what I cannot.  I am going to try and be okay.


Eric and I have talked about plan B. Even though we said we would be done after this failed cycle. . .we changed our minds.  It is all so confusing.  We are taking some time off to reflect on ourselves and what we do have.  I want to enjoy things to their full extent again. Namely, my child.  I feel like I haven't been as focused on her as I should be.  These next few months I will be getting healthy.  I am taking all natural supplements to help the female body and my hormones. (Vitax, Maca, and Dong Quai)  Then, depending on how we feel in August or September we may "officially try" or not "prevent."(fertility doctor or not)  For now, I am trying to let go and not control!



Thank you Melissa!  And Congratulations on a healthy baby boy!

Not Pregnant!

Well. . ..I'm not pregnant!  Crying, sad and upset right now!  I am done trying and over it!  My regular gyno wants me to go on birth control because when I do get pregnant my body does some weird things instead of naturally ridding my body of the miscarriage. . .it gets confused. 

I know I said I would be okay to only ever have Taylor, but I am hurting so bad right now. .. I don't know if I mean that.  I do LOVE Taylor.  More than words.  But, I had a plan for my life and one kiddo was not it!