Goodbye baby

Well, the last three days have been a whirlwind! I went on Thursday for another ultrasound and it was determined that the baby was outside the uterus , on my abdominal wall and implanted on my c-section scar. The doctors said they have never seen such an unusual pregnancy. There is a 1 in 5000 chance of the embryo implanting on a c section scar and a 1%chance of an abdominal pregnancy. Lucky me.... I had both! Well I was referred to the maternal fetal clinic where I was given another ultrasound to clarify what the regular obgyns thought they saw. It was confirmed. The dr. Was pretty upset that I was not sent to him when this first was found to be a c section scar implantation. Eric and I told him that we asked to be, but we're denied until the baby was 9 weeks. Anyway, our appointment was at 1pm and Eric and I sat in the ultrasound room from 2-4 waiting for the dr to determine what needed to be done. The dr told us that we needed to end the pregnancy, but they didn't know if it should be through surgery or injections! Talk about a shock! I was expecting to hear today that all things were moving in a positive direction. Just last week they thought the embryo was in the uterus. The dr. Told us that in order to end a life of an embryo with a heartbeat I would need to complete abortion paperwork and wait 24 hours for approval. I was mortified! I didn't want to do this.... But was being forced to make a decision that would spare my life. Tylor needs her mommy. The baby wouldn't survive and I could die! After much deliberation width other doctors in various states it was determined that this was an emergency and I would need to proceed with the injections ASAP! No signature required because the condition was life threatening. The dr. Inserted an 8 in gauge needle into my abdomen and injected potassium chloride into the baby to stop the heart and methotrexate into the embryonic sack to help dissolve the tissue. At this moment I am bawling and cannot control myself. I had to make a decision that no one should ever have to make. I was then taken to the hospital to be monitored. I began cramping and getting nauseous because methotrexate is chemotherapy. The next morning I was given another injection into my butt of methotrexate and was told I would spend another day in the hospital. Well, tonight I am still here..... Alone, sad, and feeling sick. The dr. Says I can still try for a baby in 6 months to a year if things clear up and I don't end up needing surgery tthat would likely remove my uterus. Wow....that is the shortest version I could come up with. Horrible!