Thursday, July 26, 2012

Guest blogger!!!

I am shocked and happy to announce that I have a guest blogger. Her name is Katie.  She contacted me and because I am very familiar with Doulas ( my best friend is a midwife) I thought I would share her post.  You can connect with Katie contact her via her blog, Moore From Katie or her twitter, @moorekm26.” 

Postpartum Doulas Give New Moms Welcome Support

As any new mom knows, navigating the days following childbirth can present quite a challenge for her and her family. Bringing a new baby home means changing the family routines, balancing time and juggling responsibilities. These changes can take a toll on even the most experienced parent.

The transition home is especially hard after a cesarean delivery or complications. Most new moms need extra support during their first weeks back, but help may not be easy to find. If friends or family members cannot provide assistance, a postpartum doula is good alternative.

What is a Doula?

“Doula” is an ancient Greek word that means “a woman who serves.” Postpartum doulas assist women who are bringing a new baby home for the first time after childbirth or adoption. Doulas provide personal, nurturing support during the days and months following birth. Doulas can be used before, during and after delivery to help a mother transition through this big change in her life.

What are the Duties of a Doula?

If a mother decides to hire a doula before delivery, the benefits will be the education and emotional support she will receive from the doula. A doula can answer questions about labor signs, delivery expectations and options for post-delivery options like circumcision and umbilical cord blood banking.

A postpartum doula tends to a new mother’s unique needs, whether she is an experienced parent or a first-time mom. The doula’s duties include companionship, newborn care, breastfeeding support, sibling care, light housekeeping, errand-running and referrals. Pediatricians, parenting classes and lactation support are popular referral resources.

Many postpartum doulas provide services beyond the first few days after birth. They may work for a few hours a day or a few days a week. Some continue their support during the baby’s first year of life. One doula’s services may be different than another’s, so new moms must identify and define their needs to find a doula who can best meet them.

While a postpartum doula may offer newborn care, she is different from a baby nurse. Baby nurses focus solely on the new babies in their care, while doulas proved support for the new mom and her household. The concept of a doula is nothing new, but it has grown in popularity during recent years.

Where Can a New Mom Find a Doula?

Most postpartum doulas hold certifications from organizations like the Childbirth and Postpartum Professional Association (CAPPA) and Doulas of North America (DONA) International. All doulas have training in infant care, child development, CPR and first aid.

The American Pregnancy Association can provide new moms with a doula list by ZIP code search. Childbirth educators, parenting support groups, birthing doulas and midwives will also refer new moms to postpartum doulas. Postpartum doulas charge for their services, typically by the hour.

“Katie Moore has written and submitted this article. Katie is an active blogger who discusses the topics of, motherhood, children, fitness, health and all other things Mommy. She enjoys writing, blogging, and meeting new people! To connect with Katie contact her via her blog, Moore From Katie or her twitter, @moorekm26.”

Monday, June 11, 2012

Half an organ lighter......

Well, I had surgery last Tuesday.  It lasted for 3 hours and I had a Fertility Dr, Maternal-Fetal Medicine Dr, and female Oncologist in the operating room. The Dr's called Eric mid way through the surgery and asked him if they could remove my uterus.  That obviously put Eric in a tough position so he didn't know how to respond.  He asked them why and the Dr. only said that they didn't want me to conceive ever again - no real medical issues.  Eric didn't feel like he could make that decision based upon that brief bit of information. So, I woke up with a half a uterus that I cannot use ever again. 

The Drs removed a tennis ball mass that was attached to my uterus. They say it was a combination of embryonic sack and blood clot. This makes the mass bigger than the actual uterus. The Drs pulled what was left of my uterus and sewed it up.  I have an incision on my c-section scar that is nearly the length.  I would guess 4-5 inches long. Boy or boy does it hurt worse than the c-section .  I guess because I don't have the new mom endorphins running through my body.

The Dr. told me that I have great ovaries and that I would be a great candidate for IVF with a surrogate.  That sounds perfect in a perfect world. It is abot $50-$60 thousand dollars for a surrogate.  If I can find a family member or someone like that to carry our baby I would only have to pay for the IVF procedure itself.

Looks like Taylor will be a single child. Not many family members knocking on my door to carry my child.:)

Anyway - short and sweet update.  More to come when I am more energetic.

Monday, June 4, 2012

Having Surgery

WOW! What a crazy week it has been. On Memorial Day Eric and I went to go ride dirt bikes. When we finished I noticed that I was bleeding. It looked heavier than normal, but I thought it was my imagination. I asked Eric to take me to Albertsons so that I could get some female items.  After I checked out I went to the restroom. I sat on the toilet and a gush of straight blood came out of me and 2 HUGE plops.  I looked in the toilet and of course was freaked out!  I was not sure where the clots would have come from - or why I would be hemoraging so badly.  I could not even put a tampon in because of the amount of blood.  I just stuffed my underwear with toilet paper and ran to the truck and told Eric that we needed to go to the ER. 

I called Maternal fetal medicine to let them know where I was headed. Of course my dr. was out of town and the on call Dr. didn't want to touch me because of what a rare case I am.

When I got to the ER I was given an ultrasound, vaginal check, and even a blood draw.  They found nothing.. BIG SURPRISE! The blood test revealed that my blood count had not gone down that far and that there was no reason to keep me at the hospital. (what a waste of 4 hours)

I was told to call the dr. the following day to schedule a follow up appointment. I was told that my dr. would not be back in town until Friday so I had to wait. I was still bleeding heavily at this point too. I went to my work office on Wednesday afternoon, with Taylor in tow. I began to feel light headed from all of the bleeding.  When I called the Dr. office I was told to go back to the ER.  I refused because they could not tell me anything. Instead, I asked if they could just draw my blood and see if I was at a point of needing a transfusion. The results showed that I had lost 1.5 units of blood.  The Dr. office told me that it was a lot of blood, but that I should be okay until Friday.  ARE YOU KIDDING ME! SHOULD BE OKAY!  I couldn't believe that no one wanted to see me at the office. 

So, I went home and took it easy until Friday. When I went to the office I was told that I would need to schedule surgery with the fertility Dr. so that I could attempt to save my uterus.   The hope is that I will be able to have laproscopic surgery to go in and lop off the embryonic sack that is not dissolving. Remember that the sack is outside the uterus?!  The Dr's think that the baby started growing inside the uterus, attached to my c-section scar and then grew through the scar - so part of it is in the uterus.....a sack is very vascular. Think fingers spreading out.  As the fertility dr. and high risk dr. talked I was then informed that likely the surgery would be an open surgery. That means that they will cut me open through my c-section scar and I will have to be in the hospital for 2 days. I am nervous that I will wake up without my uterus.....I am also looking forward to having the bleeding end. (it has been 2 months)

This scheduled surgery was something that was planned all along...just down the road.  So, at least it is not something that is happening because I rode dirt bikes.....

Sorry, it is so short and quick. There are so many details it is hard to consolidate.  Wish me luck tomorrow!

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Family photo shoot

Well, we finally had family pictures taken on Sunday. The last time they were taken Taylor was 1.  I would say that is long overdue!!!!!  I have not received any pictures except a text of one.  Take a look.

Almost back to zero....

I had a visit with the high risk Dr to get an ultrasound and blood draw to check my HCG levels.  Back on Easter my levels were at 175,000...they are now at 340. That is great news!  My HCGs are dropping as they should.  The Dr. said that he was happy with the speed at which they have declined.  I was given an ultrasound and it appears the sack is still attached to my abdominal wall and has not changed size much. The Dr. did tell me that it was not appearing so Cyst like and bulbus when he compares it to previous ultrasounds.  The sack will likely be removed when I go to the fertility Dr. to begin the process over again...... When my levels are back to zero the Dr. wants me to go see Dr. Slater, she is a fertility specialist. They have talked about me having a procedure in which they take two cameras. One from my abdomen with a needle and another through my uterus to see if the sack is protruding from the uterus still. If this is the case they will cut it off and put stitches where it was. 

When I am fully healed I will be able to try to conceive again.  But, I will be treated at the high risk office as a patient who has had abdominal muscle issues.  The Dr. yesterday told me that if I was successful at conceiving I would need to deliver at 36 weeks via C-section.  The hopes is that by doing all of this we prevent any further complications. 

Whew.....long story.  I am ready for it to be over.

I go back for a blood draw in 3 weeks and an ultrasound in 6.

Thursday, May 3, 2012, it may never go away????

I went to the Dr. again yesterday! The ultrasound tech. tried to put me in the room where everything happened. I clearly stated that I would not be stepping foot into that room. She gladly obliged and we moved. While examining me the tech took measurements of the embryonic sack that is still attached to my abdominal wall....there is no tissue inside though.  She told me that the sack had not shrunk in two weeks. I immediately began to freak out because I don't want to be cut open to remove it. She left the room and paged the Dr. When Dr. Blea came into the room he was smiling as usual. He said that the sack had not shrunk, but that he was not concerned because my last HCG, two weeks earlier, had dropped to 53,000. He further stated that as long as the HCG continues to drop he will not be concerned. I was informed that the sack may never fully go away. It has likely grown into my abdominal muscle. It will probably turn into scar tissue and then, may or may not dissolve....eventually. How weird that I still have part of the pregnancy that I wanted so badly inside of me....and it may never go away????!!!

I was given another blood test and was told that if the levels have dropped like they should I will be called and told that I can just go to the hospital for blood draws until the levels return to 0. In addition if they have dropped appropriately I can be intimate again and will be put on birth control. (Killl me now...I haven't been on BC for 5 years)  At least the BC will be temporary until I can meet with the fertility Dr.....around October and plan the next course of action - if we decide to take that route.

Friday, April 27, 2012

Just an update

Well...I have heard more about friends and celebrities being pregnant lately. They are all also due on or around when I should have been. I am not upset...more jealous!  Seeing other people pregnant does not sting like everyone thinks it does.  I am more jealous that I can't also shout from the mountain tops that, " I am pregnant too!" Just to clarify, if you are pregnant and my friend, I am so extremely happy for you and I hope that you are not scared to share your excitement with me.  I totally can separate my excitement for you with what I went through.

I finally had Aunt Flo visit. First time since February 9. sure was nice having a break! I go to the Dr. again next Tuesday for an ultrasound and blood draw. I continue to hope that my levels drop all the way. I DO NOT want surgery!!!! I have been told that I will need to get on birth control and use condoms.  The dr. really wants to ensure that I don't get pregnant.  In addition, he said that I am probably not a candidate for IUD because I will probably have issues with it growing through my uterus.  What luck I have!

On more of a positive note, I wanted to share photos from Taylor's school play. It was The Little Red Hen. She was a duck!  It was so cute. Her school is a school of arts so they focus on arts throughout the world. Taylor was dancing and singing to songs throughout the world.  Pretty darn cute!

 Here Taylor is teaching Eric how to dance....Priceless.

Friday, April 13, 2012

Update since last Saturday.

Okay,  so it has been one week since my traumatic event last Friday.  I have been to the Dr for a follow up appointment last Tuesday. He said everything is progressing fine. My HCG had dropped to 13,000 and it appears as all tissue is dissolving. ( sad huh?)  This means that if things keep moving this direction the risk of surgery will pass. I won't pass the tissue it will have to dissolve fully or I run the risk of being cut open. 

The Dr. told me that he was upset I was not referred to him when it was first determined that the baby was attached to the C-section scar.  He said that was enough above the regular OBGYNs head that they should have at least called him.  I didn't even see a Dr....just a PA during the initial consults.  The Dr. also told me that this would have been a lot less traumatic had we been able to make decisions about everything when I was not 8 weeks along and had an embryo with a heartbeat.

When I went to the Dr he gave me Zoloft and Ambien. I was a wreck last week. Finally hitting a wall and crying uncontrollably.  I guess it is to be expected. I am not going to take the Zoloft because it takes 2 weeks to work and by the time it does I will no longer need it.  THe Ambien, however, is wonderful!  OH...the power of good sleep. I feel less emotional and more clear headed.  I am still sad, but everything is easier to deal with when you are rested.

Saturday, April 7, 2012

Goodbye baby

Well, the last three days have been a whirlwind! I went on Thursday for another ultrasound and it was determined that the baby was outside the uterus , on my abdominal wall and implanted on my c-section scar. The doctors said they have never seen such an unusual pregnancy. There is a 1 in 5000 chance of the embryo implanting on a c section scar and a 1%chance of an abdominal pregnancy. Lucky me.... I had both! Well I was referred to the maternal fetal clinic where I was given another ultrasound to clarify what the regular obgyns thought they saw. It was confirmed. The dr. Was pretty upset that I was not sent to him when this first was found to be a c section scar implantation. Eric and I told him that we asked to be, but we're denied until the baby was 9 weeks. Anyway, our appointment was at 1pm and Eric and I sat in the ultrasound room from 2-4 waiting for the dr to determine what needed to be done. The dr told us that we needed to end the pregnancy, but they didn't know if it should be through surgery or injections! Talk about a shock! I was expecting to hear today that all things were moving in a positive direction. Just last week they thought the embryo was in the uterus. The dr. Told us that in order to end a life of an embryo with a heartbeat I would need to complete abortion paperwork and wait 24 hours for approval. I was mortified! I didn't want to do this.... But was being forced to make a decision that would spare my life. Tylor needs her mommy. The baby wouldn't survive and I could die! After much deliberation width other doctors in various states it was determined that this was an emergency and I would need to proceed with the injections ASAP! No signature required because the condition was life threatening. The dr. Inserted an 8 in gauge needle into my abdomen and injected potassium chloride into the baby to stop the heart and methotrexate into the embryonic sack to help dissolve the tissue. At this moment I am bawling and cannot control myself. I had to make a decision that no one should ever have to make. I was then taken to the hospital to be monitored. I began cramping and getting nauseous because methotrexate is chemotherapy. The next morning I was given another injection into my butt of methotrexate and was told I would spend another day in the hospital. Well, tonight I am still here..... Alone, sad, and feeling sick. The dr. Says I can still try for a baby in 6 months to a year if things clear up and I don't end up needing surgery tthat would likely remove my uterus. Wow....that is the shortest version I could come up with. Horrible!

Monday, April 2, 2012

7 weeks, 3 days......

So, I have continued with the once weekly ultrasounds.  The last one was on Wednesday and the baby's heartbeat was 130 beats per minute and measured at 6 weeks, 6 days. (right on track) I have passed the blood clot also with no other clots in sight.  YEAAHHH! The baby is still implanted on the c-section scar, but it appears as though the placenta is trying to grow on the opposite side of the scar. This is a great thing because the risk of the placenta growing outside of my uterus has long as it continues to grow this way. I now run the risk of placenta previa. I will have to continue getting ultrasounds weekly to stay on top of anything that may arise.  If I get to 9 weeks then I will be referred to maternal fetal medicine for high risk pregnancy.  The drs tell me that at 9 weeks, there is a 95% chance that the pregnancy is viable.

I get another ultrasound on Thursday and will update again.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

And so it continues.......

I went and had a beta completed the day after my "miscarriage" and my levels were at 8700. I had another blood draw completed on Monday and those results were 16700.  The dr.s office called me excited and said that my levels were doubling normally and that they wanted me to come in for an ultrasound to determine what was going on with my pregnancy. Apparently, I did not miscarry yet.

I just came back from the Drs office and the ultrasound showed a 5 week, 6 day embryo.  There was even a heart beat but I didn't want to listen to it because the sonogram tech said that the embryo was implanted very low in the uterus with an active bleed above.  She said that I would likely miscarry.

I then met with the Dr. who said that it appears my embryo implanted into my C-section scar. and is not really in the cervix or the uterus where it should be.  The embryo is misshapen and it may be because of the pressure of the blood clot around it or that it is dying. Either way we won't know anything until next week. I will have another ultrasound then to get a more clear idea.

The Dr. did say that she has seen one other pregnancy grow into scar tissue that resulted in a viable pregnancy. The woman did have to delivery at 30 weeks with a full hysterectomy.  She further stated that this would likely be the outcome for me if the pregnancy continued.  More good news!  Then, the dr. told me that if I miscarried she did not want me to try to get pregnant anymore because if I have had one pregnancy attach to my scar it is very likely it will happen again.  She says I either have accreta or percreta of the placenta. She said if I google it I will freak out!  More great news!

Anyway, I am kind of in shock right now and digesting everything. I will write more when I am not so numb.

Thursday, March 15, 2012


well, I told you I would share good or bad news. is bad. It looks like I am miscarrying.  I went to the bathroom and am seeing red blood in the toilet.  It is devestating....especially when you want it so bad.  I guess the fertility dr.'s diagnosis of thin uterine lining was accurate. Even though I got healthy if I don't have adequate uterine lining to support a pregnancy it will not be viable.

I can't help but think...."I am okay...lots' of women bleed and have successful pregnancies." Then, I remind myself that I am not that case......when I bleed it is bad news!!!

I will continue to post when I know more. I plan to call the Dr. tomorrow. They can't do anything now for me. 

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Thought I would share the journey.....

Well, it has been a very long time since my last post. Many things have happened.  I returned from Cancun on March 2.  What an amazing vacation! It was wonderful to reconnect with Eric and just relax. 
We flew first class on the way from Cancun to Boise.  It was not planned or authorized, but the person who checked us in upgraded us and charged my credit card without my permission. I have tried to fight it, but it but the company says I received the service.  At least it wasn't $1000.  Still it stung a little.

Well,  I got back from Cancun and was trying to get back into my normal routine when I realize that I was late for my period. I had been seeing a holistic chiropractor  who had made my last 3 cycles come at day 26.  I don't know what she did, but something changed. On CD 30 I decided to take a pregnancy test because whether or not my periods were on CD 26 or 28 I would officially be late. I ran to the store grabbed the test, did my thing all while expecting the test to come out negative.  Well, it didn't!  It came out positive.....right away!

Let me just say I was shocked! We were not trying. I am not sure if this happened right before our vacation or during?  I have never had a positive pregnancy test like this.  Even when I was pregnant with Taylor. Usually I have to turn my head just in the right light....etc.and still maybe never get a positive result. Not this time!

I know it is early to share, especially with my history of miscarriages. I think I am at 7 now???? Anyway, I tried fertility doctors without success. In fact, I quit getting pregnant when I saw them. I did better on my own. So, I tried something different. I went to a holistic chiropractor 2 times per week for 3 months along with eating a boat load of organic fruits and vegetables. I worked out more, cut out processed foods, alcohol, and sugars.  The chiropractor made my cycle come at 26 days for 3 months. Something she was doing was working. I had an overall healthy feeling and it worked!!!! I am still taking progesterone suppositories twice a day for the first 12 weeks. It is not fun...but worth it if I end up with a healthy baby.  I will continue to share even if things don't work out. I am feeling optimistic this time though! If I can make it to March 30th (7 week appt) then I feel like I will be in the clear. I typically don't make it beyond 6 weeks.

I think it is worth sharing because I had one successful pregnancy on my own and struggled with the second. The holistic chiropractor says it is because I was so unhealthy on the inside. Especially after Taylor....she took all of my nutrients and I never replenished them. I had to try and get healthy from the inside out before I was able to conceive.  The DR. also said that my lower back above my hips is the part of my body linked to reproduction. She focused on relaxing those muscles so that my body would function normally.  ( it worked!)

Wait for it.....The due date is Taylor's birthday!!!  November 15. Crazy huh?

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Going to Cancun

I am so excited to finally say this, "We are going to Cancun!"  I am thrilled!  We had decided to take a vacation last summer. Our plans were that if we were pregnant we would take a family vacation. If not....we would take an adult vacation.  So, on February 23 we are off to Cancun until March 2 - just the two of us and a couple we are very close with. This is such a much needed vacation.  Who knows ..maybe we will end up pregnant!  Taylor will be staying with my mom, Eric's mom, My dad, and then Eric's dad throughout the vacation. I didn't want any one person to get burnt out. Crazy that I have that many options for people to help, huh? I don't think we will ever be taking a vacation that does not fall on a break again. The rotation of Taylor is enough to make anyone want to scream. Normally, I wouldn't have to arrange so much, but now that she is in kindergarten I don't want her to miss school or her dance classes.

I am still eating fruits and vegetables (which for those that know me...I NEVER ate them before.)  and going to the holistic chiropractor.  I have such amazing changes; including my monthly visitor coming 2 days earlier for the last 2 months and being much heavier, which is a good thing. (Madeline says this is because of my treatments with her.) When we get back from Mexico we will decide if we are up for additional fertility treatments. I am just hopeful that becoming healthier from the inside out will lead to a viable pregnancy without treatments.

Thursday, January 5, 2012

My better half....

I rarely mention Eric or how wonderful he is.  I am not even sure if I have ever posted a picture of him.  I wanted to share this picture because, today, I am making my post about Eric....I feel so grateful to have him in my life. He makes me smile when I am feeling down and knows how to make me feel like everything will be okay.  He spoils the hell out of me and is such a wonderful father to our daughter.  I LOVE you Eric Charles Holloway.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Fabulous Christmas

Well, Christmas is over and it is time to try and get back into a routine! Maybe easier said than done.  I wanted to post a few pictures of our Christmas.
 Three generations: Great Gram Lamm, Gram'e, and Taylor Jo.
Santa left us all a stocking!
 Look at all of those presents!
 Every Christmas Eve we lay in bed and listen to Daddy read, "Twas the Night Before Christmas."
 Taylor got a wheelchair for her American Girl doll....can you tell her mommy is a special education teacher?
 Christmas day we had a blind-folded food contest......Eric and I's food won!
 Twister with Uncle Keith....notice where his face is.
Daddy bought us all dart has been very fun!