Halloween for my Little Penguin...

Halloween was a bit different for us this year.  Typically, we have our very close friends and their two children along for the festivities.  Unfortunately, they have moved to Tennessee and we were without them.  Instead, my mom and step-dad came along for the fun.  Taylor had a great time!  We started very early ..like around 5:30 because it was so cold.  The best part of starting early was that people are less stingy with the candy and are more inclined to be generous with the first person. :)  We were home in about an hour or so and could not believe how much candy we hauled in!

 I must have tossed her last years bucket....Notice the hand made bag?

 Taylor said, " I can't believe daddy made me carve that kitty pumpkin by myself!"

 Our neighbor and Taylor.

My mom, GG and Taylor. 

 Taylor took my mom and said that she wanted to try and scare her at the "scary House!"

 Daddy and Taylor checking out the loot.

She is looking a bit tired at the end of the night.

Second round of IUI

Yesterday was terrible!  Not only was I dealing with the emotional mess of not being pregnant, I had to decide whether we would be trying another round of IUI.  I was unprepared with having to deal with that...

IUI is comparison to other fertility methods is cheap.  However, when you are between paychecks and don't own a credit card it makes coming up with money for fertility a bit difficult.  I was struggling yesterday with trying to figure out how to pay for a second round of IUI with only $600. I had enough to cover the first ultrasound and all of the medication...but, not enough for the second ultrasound and the actual procedure. Finally, I turned to my family. They offered to loan me the remaining balance until my paycheck in a couple of weeks. What a pill to swallow having to borrow money for a procedure that is, essentially, elective. Borrowing the money will make things tight for the next month, but I feel like I made a decision that is reflective of what Eric and I are wanting....and that is another child.

I just can't help but feel like my body is letting me down.  How on earth can you have a successful pregnancy, delivery, and healthy child?  Then, try again and have miscarriage after miscarriage.....

Some say I should just stop trying and it will happen. I want to PUNCH those people!  I can get pregnant. I have had 7 miscarriages. That is not the problem.  The problem is that my uterine lining will not support a pregnancy.....that is not something that not "trying" will fix.

Onward and Upward....we try once more.  If not I think I will try reading a book called, The Infertility Cure. I have heard wonderful things about it.  I guess it can't hurt.

Well, the first IUI attempt was unsuccessful! I am discouraged beyond belief. The anxiety that i feel right now is beyond words!