Half an organ lighter......

Well, I had surgery last Tuesday.  It lasted for 3 hours and I had a Fertility Dr, Maternal-Fetal Medicine Dr, and female Oncologist in the operating room. The Dr's called Eric mid way through the surgery and asked him if they could remove my uterus.  That obviously put Eric in a tough position so he didn't know how to respond.  He asked them why and the Dr. only said that they didn't want me to conceive ever again - no real medical issues.  Eric didn't feel like he could make that decision based upon that brief bit of information. So, I woke up with a half a uterus that I cannot use ever again. 

The Drs removed a tennis ball mass that was attached to my uterus. They say it was a combination of embryonic sack and blood clot. This makes the mass bigger than the actual uterus. The Drs pulled what was left of my uterus and sewed it up.  I have an incision on my c-section scar that is nearly the length.  I would guess 4-5 inches long. Boy or boy does it hurt worse than the c-section .  I guess because I don't have the new mom endorphins running through my body.

The Dr. told me that I have great ovaries and that I would be a great candidate for IVF with a surrogate.  That sounds perfect in a perfect world. It is abot $50-$60 thousand dollars for a surrogate.  If I can find a family member or someone like that to carry our baby I would only have to pay for the IVF procedure itself.

Looks like Taylor will be a single child. Not many family members knocking on my door to carry my child.:)

Anyway - short and sweet update.  More to come when I am more energetic.

Having Surgery

WOW! What a crazy week it has been. On Memorial Day Eric and I went to go ride dirt bikes. When we finished I noticed that I was bleeding. It looked heavier than normal, but I thought it was my imagination. I asked Eric to take me to Albertsons so that I could get some female items.  After I checked out I went to the restroom. I sat on the toilet and a gush of straight blood came out of me and 2 HUGE plops.  I looked in the toilet and of course was freaked out!  I was not sure where the clots would have come from - or why I would be hemoraging so badly.  I could not even put a tampon in because of the amount of blood.  I just stuffed my underwear with toilet paper and ran to the truck and told Eric that we needed to go to the ER. 

I called Maternal fetal medicine to let them know where I was headed. Of course my dr. was out of town and the on call Dr. didn't want to touch me because of what a rare case I am.

When I got to the ER I was given an ultrasound, vaginal check, and even a blood draw.  They found nothing.. BIG SURPRISE! The blood test revealed that my blood count had not gone down that far and that there was no reason to keep me at the hospital. (what a waste of 4 hours)

I was told to call the dr. the following day to schedule a follow up appointment. I was told that my dr. would not be back in town until Friday so I had to wait. I was still bleeding heavily at this point too. I went to my work office on Wednesday afternoon, with Taylor in tow. I began to feel light headed from all of the bleeding.  When I called the Dr. office I was told to go back to the ER.  I refused because they could not tell me anything. Instead, I asked if they could just draw my blood and see if I was at a point of needing a transfusion. The results showed that I had lost 1.5 units of blood.  The Dr. office told me that it was a lot of blood, but that I should be okay until Friday.  ARE YOU KIDDING ME! SHOULD BE OKAY!  I couldn't believe that no one wanted to see me at the office. 

So, I went home and took it easy until Friday. When I went to the office I was told that I would need to schedule surgery with the fertility Dr. so that I could attempt to save my uterus.   The hope is that I will be able to have laproscopic surgery to go in and lop off the embryonic sack that is not dissolving. Remember that the sack is outside the uterus?!  The Dr's think that the baby started growing inside the uterus, attached to my c-section scar and then grew through the scar - so part of it is in the uterus.....a sack is very vascular. Think fingers spreading out.  As the fertility dr. and high risk dr. talked I was then informed that likely the surgery would be an open surgery. That means that they will cut me open through my c-section scar and I will have to be in the hospital for 2 days. I am nervous that I will wake up without my uterus.....I am also looking forward to having the bleeding end. (it has been 2 months)

This scheduled surgery was something that was planned all along...just down the road.  So, at least it is not something that is happening because I rode dirt bikes.....

Sorry, it is so short and quick. There are so many details it is hard to consolidate.  Wish me luck tomorrow!

Family photo shoot

Well, we finally had family pictures taken on Sunday. The last time they were taken Taylor was 1.  I would say that is long overdue!!!!!  I have not received any pictures except a text of one.  Take a look.

Almost back to zero....

I had a visit with the high risk Dr to get an ultrasound and blood draw to check my HCG levels.  Back on Easter my levels were at 175,000...they are now at 340. That is great news!  My HCGs are dropping as they should.  The Dr. said that he was happy with the speed at which they have declined.  I was given an ultrasound and it appears the sack is still attached to my abdominal wall and has not changed size much. The Dr. did tell me that it was not appearing so Cyst like and bulbus when he compares it to previous ultrasounds.  The sack will likely be removed when I go to the fertility Dr. to begin the process over again...... When my levels are back to zero the Dr. wants me to go see Dr. Slater, she is a fertility specialist. They have talked about me having a procedure in which they take two cameras. One from my abdomen with a needle and another through my uterus to see if the sack is protruding from the uterus still. If this is the case they will cut it off and put stitches where it was. 

When I am fully healed I will be able to try to conceive again.  But, I will be treated at the high risk office as a patient who has had abdominal muscle issues.  The Dr. yesterday told me that if I was successful at conceiving I would need to deliver at 36 weeks via C-section.  The hopes is that by doing all of this we prevent any further complications. 

Whew.....long story.  I am ready for it to be over.

I go back for a blood draw in 3 weeks and an ultrasound in 6.

....so, it may never go away????

I went to the Dr. again yesterday! The ultrasound tech. tried to put me in the room where everything happened. I clearly stated that I would not be stepping foot into that room. She gladly obliged and we moved. While examining me the tech took measurements of the embryonic sack that is still attached to my abdominal wall....there is no tissue inside though.  She told me that the sack had not shrunk in two weeks. I immediately began to freak out because I don't want to be cut open to remove it. She left the room and paged the Dr. When Dr. Blea came into the room he was smiling as usual. He said that the sack had not shrunk, but that he was not concerned because my last HCG, two weeks earlier, had dropped to 53,000. He further stated that as long as the HCG continues to drop he will not be concerned. I was informed that the sack may never fully go away. It has likely grown into my abdominal muscle. It will probably turn into scar tissue and then, may or may not dissolve....eventually. How weird that I still have part of the pregnancy that I wanted so badly inside of me....and it may never go away????!!!

I was given another blood test and was told that if the levels have dropped like they should I will be called and told that I can just go to the hospital for blood draws until the levels return to 0. In addition if they have dropped appropriately I can be intimate again and will be put on birth control. (Killl me now...I haven't been on BC for 5 years)  At least the BC will be temporary until I can meet with the fertility Dr.....around October and plan the next course of action - if we decide to take that route.

Just an update

Well...I have heard more about friends and celebrities being pregnant lately. They are all also due on or around when I should have been. I am not upset...more jealous!  Seeing other people pregnant does not sting like everyone thinks it does.  I am more jealous that I can't also shout from the mountain tops that, " I am pregnant too!" Just to clarify, if you are pregnant and my friend, I am so extremely happy for you and I hope that you are not scared to share your excitement with me.  I totally can separate my excitement for you with what I went through.

I finally had Aunt Flo visit. First time since February 9.  Man..it sure was nice having a break! I go to the Dr. again next Tuesday for an ultrasound and blood draw. I continue to hope that my levels drop all the way. I DO NOT want surgery!!!! I have been told that I will need to get on birth control and use condoms.  The dr. really wants to ensure that I don't get pregnant.  In addition, he said that I am probably not a candidate for IUD because I will probably have issues with it growing through my uterus.  What luck I have!

On more of a positive note, I wanted to share photos from Taylor's school play. It was The Little Red Hen. She was a duck!  It was so cute. Her school is a school of arts so they focus on arts throughout the world. Taylor was dancing and singing to songs throughout the world.  Pretty darn cute!

 Here Taylor is teaching Eric how to dance....Priceless.

Update since last Saturday.

Okay,  so it has been one week since my traumatic event last Friday.  I have been to the Dr for a follow up appointment last Tuesday. He said everything is progressing fine. My HCG had dropped to 13,000 and it appears as all tissue is dissolving. ( sad huh?)  This means that if things keep moving this direction the risk of surgery will pass. I won't pass the tissue it will have to dissolve fully or I run the risk of being cut open. 

The Dr. told me that he was upset I was not referred to him when it was first determined that the baby was attached to the C-section scar.  He said that was enough above the regular OBGYNs head that they should have at least called him.  I didn't even see a Dr....just a PA during the initial consults.  The Dr. also told me that this would have been a lot less traumatic had we been able to make decisions about everything when I was not 8 weeks along and had an embryo with a heartbeat.

When I went to the Dr he gave me Zoloft and Ambien. I was a wreck last week. Finally hitting a wall and crying uncontrollably.  I guess it is to be expected. I am not going to take the Zoloft because it takes 2 weeks to work and by the time it does I will no longer need it.  THe Ambien, however, is wonderful!  OH...the power of good sleep. I feel less emotional and more clear headed.  I am still sad, but everything is easier to deal with when you are rested.