Friday, January 29, 2010

Haven't written much lately . ..

I have seriously been at a loss for anything to write about. My days are filled with IEP writing, lesson planning, teaching, working out, playing with Taylor, making dinner, and cleaning. Nothing of real substance has happened in recent weeks.  I am on a constant moving mode. . .I don't often have "me" time . .. and that is partially due to the fact the Eric has started his own company and is trying hard to get it up and running.  Which doesn't leave much time for he and I; let alone time for me to do girly things or take a shower in quiet.  I know that I should not be complaining because his hard work has allowed for us to go to Cancun next Thursday. For that I am grateful! 

On a side note; another one of my friends has found out that she is pregnant. I think that makes 8 friends of mine who have had children or found out that they are pregnant during the time that I have wanted one so badly.  I actually broke down last week and just sobbed.  It is a harsh reality that makes no sense.  I have one perfectly healthy child, without the help of intervention to conceive.  Suddenly, now I am in a much different place.  This process has been two years in the making.  After we return from Cancun we start the "trying" process again.  I have mixed feelings.  I so badly want a child, but am so burned out with the emotional roller coaster that each miscarriage brings.  I don't think I could handle another. .. .so. . .should I even bother trying?


  1. How I wish I could take the pain away, I don't know how this feels. Melissa sure is a blessing for you that can offer words or a listening ear. I hope that Cancun gives you new insight into what to do next. Find a beautiful spot to sit on the beach and relect on your life and maybe you can find your answers. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, sometimes that is the hardest part. Take care and enjoy yourself.

  2. Keep trying Brit. You will always wonder if you don't. Try and relax and enjoy yourselves on your upcoming trip. Somehow these things have a way of working out. Hugs. XOXO